Recently I visited a Branch Relief Society meeting where a
wonderful lesson was given about Visiting Teaching blessings. During the lesson
there was a lively debate between two sisters who have had their differences
over several years. They revealed must anger and dislike for each other as the
conversation elevated to a time I stood and suggested to them to repent and
forgive each other for perceived wrongs committed over 20 years ago when they
were young. Over the last several weeks, Sister Dalton and I have visited with
these sisters in their homes and have heard their accusations towards each
other. It is a deadly venom that cankers the soul. We have knelt and prayed
with them and invited the Spirit to soften their hearts. Sunday we witnessed a
mighty change in their countenance as they once again sat in at opposite sides
of the chapel. One sister has a new baby who was fussy and also a 1 ½ year old
she seemed to be wrestling throughout the meeting. From across the room, the
other sister who was involved with this incident weeks ago, arose and walked
over to the struggling woman and gently gathered the toddler into her arms and standing
at the back of the chapel, caressed him close until he had settled down,
relaxed and fell sleeping in her arms. The whole congregation stopped and
watched as this act of kindness was extended to a believed arch rival that
would never change. I was most impressed she took hold of her own forgiveness power
that is within each of us. It reminded me of my own life changing moment when given
a forgiving moment opportunity. I share this with you that you too may be
captain of a forgiving heart and rest with a clear feeling of love for all.
While here on my
mission, I have not heard from my father. I continually pray for his welfare and
protection. He is sometimes like a ghost who will visit or contact me through
some medium when he is ready. In my own thoughts, I liken our relationship to
the traditions of the Fathers that many of our saints struggle over. The
principle of forgiveness, when extended in our lives, brings peace and comfort
in a world of stress, temptation and sadness. I would like to share an
experience that over many, many years I have reflected upon and recognized that
it shaped my life and freed me from the trend of today’s world to never forgive
another. When I was 31 yrs. old, Dad had been gone from my life for some 17
years already. His values and lifestyle was not that of mine. He had moved back
to Lynnwood to open a RV Consignment lot. He took in RV’s like campers and old
trailers and an occasional motorhome and sold them for people and then made a
commission for his service. I had pinned up all of my feels for over the 17
years about his leaving our family so abruptly and finally that fateful
Saturday morning. I called him and asked if I could set with him and just talk,
without distraction from customers or phone calls. He was a bit hesitant but
gave me an exact time to show up at this lot. My heart pounded with some anger,
disappointment and feeling robbed by his actions towards me when I was 14, as I
set with my earthly father who had been gone for so many years. I don’t
remember all of the things I said and I’m sure I said some cruel things I felt
I knew of the circumstances why he left the family and particularly me, his
first born. He was silent for the 10 or 15 minutes I let out my venom. Tears
streamed down my cheeks most of the conversation as well as his emotions were
visible too. He uttered not a word- but listened and felt intensely to my
honest and heartfelt words. When I had finished, his tears had stained his
shirt as mine had run freely also for the several minutes. We stood and gazed
into each other’s tear filled eyes and after a brief silence, embraced as
father and son once again as we had done over 20 years before. He then spoke
these words that I have always remembered, “you are exactly right son, I was
filled with pride and was selfishness for only my wants and desires. I am sorry
for my actions and would only ask for your forgiveness. I cannot change the
past or my choices from the past, but I hope we can do better from this time
forward.” A tremendous peace and relief came over me and I felt we both had
unloaded our burdens of blaming others, wrong choices and now could move
forward with a father and son forgiving relationship.
Over the years, Dad has done his “thing” and his values are
not the same as mine, even today, yet we love each other and I have tried to
stay close to him during his adventures. Yes, his continued choices have caused
him to be a lone man at times with really no family as part of his life. That
still saddens me for in the winter of his life, he should have great happiness
and joy in his posterity, his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He has no
wonderful experiences or memories to cause him joy in his quite times when left
alone to ponder his inter most thoughts. That would be so depressing to me and
I have tried, as feeble as it may seem, to not let that happen to me or my family
whom I love with all of my heart. He is still a vagabond of sorts, and I worry
every day that he will pass on without anyone by his side or anyone knowing of
his whereabouts. It scares me to see him this way, still.
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